NOVEMBER 8, 2024

This month I struggled a lot coming up with a topic for a blog post. I knew that I wanted to get something written, but none of the subjects that occurred to me snagged my interest enough for me to commit to it. Nor could I convince myself to complete any of the half-finished drafts I’ve got stored. It took me longer than I would have hoped to figure out why thinking felt like swimming through molasses. It’s because it’s November. The weather is getting colder. This is when the SAD kicks in.

What is SAD?

SAD stands for Seasonal Affective Disorder. I don’t know what wise-ass named it that, but it’s a form of depression. As the name implies, it tends to recur annually, brought on by a specific season. For me, that’s the tail end of autumn. Fall and winter seem to be the most common time of year, but I know people who feel the effects in the warmer months.

When I was young, I used to assume that my low mood and my lethargy were being caused purely by the dropping temperatures. Novembers also usually included additional obligations, drastic routine changes, and all sorts of other chaos. It made sense that I felt grumpy and overwhelmed.

Once I got older, I started to experience some years where November was just another month, albeit a bit colder. Even without the stress, my headspace grew less pleasant. Attributing this to the weather, I taught myself to tolerate and even enjoy cooler temperatures. When that didn’t do the trick either, my therapist finally got me to admit that it was a deeper issue that was going to require greater – and more importantly ongoing – attention.

Taking the Steps

If I’m going to have any hope of keeping my spirits up enough to continue fulfilling my obligations during “my funk” as I sometimes call it, I have to take care of it. Trying to double down and push through inevitably makes the issue worse. It increases my symptoms, and if I try to stay in denial, it leads to avoidable errors, burnout, or physical illness. I’ve learned from experience that it’s not worth it. I need to manage my symptoms.

1. Recognize SAD & Name It

First and foremost, I have to recognize it for what it is. I can’t solve a problem if I don’t realize that it exists. Without this first step, none of the other steps on this list happen. Unfortunately, they need to. I know what happens when I ignore the onset of my SAD symptoms because I’ve done it before. The experience was a feedback loop of misery. While it feels like an uphill battle to be exuberant or even really optimistic this time of year, I can take steps to keep it from getting worse.

2. Setting My Limits

After naming it, the next critical step is to reinforce my boundaries. As much as I always want to help everyone in both my social and professional life to solve all their problems, I can’t. That’s not possible even on the best days, and when my SAD flares up, I’m not at my full capacity. This time of year, I have to be able to turn down some requests and be realistic about how much of myself and my time I can volunteer.

The ability to prioritize becomes essential. If there are responsibilities I can delegate, I assess whether doing so is the better option. When projects have no deadline, they go on the back burner if they need to. The point is to conserve the energy and resources that I have in order to still fulfill my obligations when I simply can’t do as much as I can during other parts of the year.

3. Heal My Body

Even though it feels to me like my brain is doing less at this point, it’s actually working a lot harder. It’s consuming more resources in order to push through the executive dysfunction. To keep up with the increased, I need to make sure my brain and body are getting what they need.

The inclination is to eat more even when I don’t have it in me to prepare food, so I have to keep myself stocked with low-effort, nutrient-dense foods. You would not believe how many apples are in my house right now. My partner also makes some amazing stews that reheat extremely well even in the microwave. They’re just as easy as snacking on ice cream or ordering pizza for dinner, and I’ll feel much better afterward.

I also have to schedule more rest for myself. I can’t pack as many clients or as many errands into the same day as I can during the summer. This time of year, I have to space out my obligations more to different days of the week. When feasible, I’ll block off an hour or two to take a nap. It’s frustrating for me when I want to chip away faster as my to-do list, but the end results are inevitably better.

4. Make Space For Joy

I’ve always hated the phrase “fake it ’til you make it” when it comes to mental health. It rubs me the wrong way considering so many people hide their difficulties because they don’t feel safe to express them. However, the place between denial and giving up is where recovery and growth take place. It’s not about pretending I’m happy when I’m not, it’s about creating more opportunities for my joy to return.

Reading a good book isn’t going to cure my depression, nor is taking a hike down a beautiful trail, nor knitting a project I’m proud of. But they certainly won’t make it any worse. They might let an extra smile or two creep in. I can’t say the same about spending my day doomscrolling, even if it feels easier in the moment.

Remembering SAD Symptoms are Temporary

Above all, I need to remember that there is an end to this coming. Every year it invariably passes after it has run its course. While it lasts, it’s more than uncomfortable; it’s painful, but year after year after year I get through it. I have to remember that I have a perfect track record for always coming out on the other side of this, even when I’ve been fully convinced I wouldn’t.

I know the steps I need to take, and I know that they work. Years of proof continue to stack up. On even the worst days, I know if I can simply keep myself occupied for long enough, it’ll be over before I know it. Until then, I surround myself with supports: the people I love and who love me, the activities that positively engage me, and the means to keep my physical needs met.

No matter how dark it gets, the sun is always going to return. I have to remember that it usually brings my mood along with it.