So Here We Are… Many Changes Later

Contemplating Changes

MAY 23, 2018

Let’s be honest, it’s pretty much impossible to follow the trajectory you set out to follow in life. Things happen. Sudden changes occur when you least expect them, and you have to alter your path in order to keep moving forward.

Where We Started

A few years ago, I thought I had everything figured out. I was working from home in a beautiful house that I owned with my husband, living the life of a homesteader, and adjusting to my newfound role as a mother. (You can read the blog I tended to back then here.)

Where We Are Now

There have been quite a few changes since then. Today, I’m single. I’m struggling to make my part-time hours working for someone else’s business fit into my schedule, and trying hard to continue my freelance work. I’m sitting in a twin bed at my parents’ house writing this. I stayed up late after putting the munchkin to sleep, so I can search for a third job that I might be able to squeeze in if I stop sleeping so much (or at all).

My beautiful daughter, while absolutely brilliant, is still primarily non-verbal. She is approaching the age of three. Her autism diagnosis has meant that she needs a lot of extra time and care. We’re lucky enough to have specialists come to the house several times a week to work with us and help her improve her skills. However, she’s going to need some extra attention for many years to come. Good school systems don’t come cheap, and the vast majority of high-paying jobs require a lot of hours put in. It’s a catch-22.

Meanwhile, I’m also trying to deal with my own health issues. Some, like my OCD, have been going on for years and are now well-controlled with medication. More recently, I have started undergoing testing for Celiac after a major change with my digestive system. I haven’t gotten the results back yet, but after starting a gluten-free diet just a few days ago, my symptoms have already improved greatly.

What It Means

By no means am I saying my life isn’t a good one. It’s just very far from what I expected it to be. I’ll be turning 30 one month from today, and it’s difficult to envision what the next decade has in store for me, when only five years ago, I thought everything in my future had been perfectly planned out. A lot has changed.

So, here I am. I’m not sure where I’m going yet, but I guess I’ll find out soon enough.